Being Postive

 

After almost a year of staying paranoid and in constant panic, sanitizing everything that would find a way inside my house, avoiding crowded places and blatantly ignoring the repeated choir like statement of Municipality " Corona se khabrae Nahi, Savdhani barte", my greatest fear has come not in front of me but within me. Yes! The dreadful ‘Virus’ managed to find its way into me at last!

The alarm bell rang when my house help declared he had to visit his hometown for his brother's wedding. My constant nudging and bickering that weddings can wait but this virus may not, had no impact on him and I was convinced that he was determined to go anyhow. I felt vulnerable and helpless.

With deep alacrity I accepted the fact that he will go and that I have to work out ways of survival without compromising the bubble I had built around my house. So I decided to cook myself and to only call in a single maid for cleaning the house and utensils. Few of the days went fine, with a little, ok, admittedly a lot of effort, I managed to pull the meals together however humble it might be. But the trailer of initial days, gave an idea that cooking myself along with work from home situation is not sustainable so we decided to order food from the rest house for the remaining days. The food got kind of sorted, but the maid situation did not. I had to change few maids before one did finalize on coming every morning. In retrospect, I feel having different maids at house because of inconsistency, increased chances of exposure to the virus. I know to my bones that I had a premonition that this situation would occur if my house help goes, but you know there are moments in life when you know something is going to happen but you still can't do anything about it. It was one such moment!

Anyway, taking the story further, one fine day my husband and I decided to take the jab (basically it was more of  his decision than mine, I was hesitant because of the post vaccination fever). And so as you try to avoid it, your greatest fear sees you in face, I got the temperature almost after 5 hours of vaccination. I took Paracetamol and slept. Next morning, increased temperature, took Paracetamol and worked, Day - 3 repeat, Day-4 repeat but decided to take RAT in evening as fever wouldn't go which turned out to be positive, leaving me shattered and lifeless. Hoping that the RAT is false, I took RT- PCR also, you know, just to be "safe", but it seems RAT was sadly true!

Dejected, sleepless and anxiety stricken, I so wished it didn’t happen. However, I had no option but to come to terms with it sooner than later. So here is the "Positive" me, isolating in one corner of my house, drinking so much water as I have never had in my life, taking one day at a time, facing the situation I never ever wanted to, trying to convince myself that this too shall pass, feeling stronger than I think I was, reminiscing about the good olden days and planning what to do next if I come out of it Alive.

For all those people who wished me speedy recovery, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing by me and giving me the hope I need. Every message, every call feels like a solace.

I will be back with a bang soon! Stay Safe, Stay indoors, Stay hydrated!