A Dream Divine ....

I hope that this poem gives a direction to those who are seeking an answer to the question-"WHY ONLY ME?".I would like to thank my friends who have inspired me to be optimistic again,live life again,be happy again,be confident again..



Deliberating one day,why life is so harsh,
Mind flashbacked an awful thought-
"Why is it me everytime?
Why don't I get,whatever I jot?"


I run my fastest,
still I face the defeat.
Inspite of working day and night
nothing I do,ever turns out to be right.


People I have seen,get what they want
work,they don't know as lucky they are
but no matter how hard I work,
My goal I always find so far.


With this painful thought in mind,
Tears filled my sleepy eyes,
I saw a dream so sublime,
conversing with GOD from two to nine!!


I saw Him wiping off my tear
Touching my forehead with His hands so dear,
For the first time I felt,
Yes! He does care!!


"Thou art the best of my child,
I want you to learn so many things in life,
In this journey I do not promise
an easy , but a safe ride.


Struggle who does get the blessings divine,
even a dark cloud has a silver line,
Don't worry my child,
I have the best for you in my mind!!


I want you to learn what patience is,
everything in life is not an easy win,
Work hard my child,
for there will be time when even you'll hit.


Go out in the world and you will find-
Those only win with the strongest mind.
Carve your own path,make your own way,
and remember always thou art my favourite child!!"



As I get up in the morning today,
I feel so energetic,as I have never been anyday,
Very well the great Milton said-
"Those also serve , who only stand and wait!!"


With GOD's blessings and lessons well learnt,
All my negativities today I burn,
I am exploring the talent,that was lying latent,
My weakness from now,will be my greatest strength!!.

Learning new lessons

After five months of working at snail's pace(including last month of total inactivity and the earlier four months of working reluctantly),guilt has finally managed to disturb my peace of mind.Seriously dude,i have never been so lazy in life!
Well last month of inactivity in fact includes a lot many activities(ofcourse apart from studies).Last month i have made a new record that i never thought i am capable of.Yes, i made a record of watching the maximum number of movies in a single month and the list includes the latest showstopper,Fashion, the pathetically awful and senseless Drona(Abhishek please dont mind i am no more in your fans list now),the scary Ring I and Ring II ,the interesting Shaw shank redemption,the emotional Devdas,the impeccable Devil wears prada(and a few others which i would rather not publicise).It was during last month only that i became great(great? oh ofcourse not in the true sense of the term).With my menu ready for the coming weeks i became a great eater and with nothing much to do and not having much interest in T.V(though i started watching Balika Vadhu),i became a great sleeper as well..And now the eternally wise and true saying that" Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great"continues to haunt me.
From june to september, i was living in an altogether different world.Everything just seemed perfect.Rahat Fateh Ali's mesmerising song"Udane laga kyun mann bawala re...aaya kahan se ye hausla re ?"dominated my consciousness.Everything just seemed so true,the song,the situation.But yes nothing lasts forever,people move on,life moves on.Uncle Andy Dufresne ( in Shawshank redemption) said "Hope is a good thing,perhaps the best of the things and good things never die"!Very well said Uncle dufresne but sometimes it is better(or perhaps the best) to be as hopeless as possible so as to move on in life.
Well if my friends are wondering why i have titled this post as"learning new lessons",here is the answer to your doubt.Though i have not gained much of bookish knowledge in past few months, but the experiences that i have gone through have made me a better person perhaps a more mature one.Accepting the bitter realities and then moving on in life has always been difficult for ordinary people.But who ever said that i am ordinary?

Who I Am?

hi friends,
Well the reason as to why i have created a blog is not very clear to me.I might quit writting this blog within few days.Life of an I.A.S aspirant is not really interesting and anyother I.A.S aspirant would vouch for that.In this jouney i donot promise any exciting incidents nor any latest gossips nor any extra-ordinary vocab.I am just another girl with just too many dreams.My day begins with geograhy map work and ends with mugging up the leaders of the Indian Independence Movement.
In the following few lines i have tried to sum up my journey from who i was to who i am today.Hope that my friends like it-

Who i am,
relates to Who i was.
The journey began when,
14 year old i was.

A FAILURE of life,
A tragedy i was,
Miseries surrounded me,
An unwanted being i was.

Two years passed by,
New school and friends then i got.
Worked hard for my dream,
And lo! an achiever now i was.

Two years passed by,
Now a college girl i was,
"Happy go, lucky type"
"MISS FRESHER" now i was.

First year of college seem to be a boon,
Though not the topper,second rank holder i was,
Many crushes i had,
Luckily then,not so serious i was.

An year then passed,metamorphosis began,
For something i suppose,a little serious i was.
Sipped the vodka in december night,
Me and my friends started enjoying life.

TOPPER i became,studious as i was,
Politics did interest me,but not a cabinet member i was.
Second year of college,
finally ended with a blast.

Third year came,supersenior now i was,
Political economy did interest me,now a GOLD MEDALIST i was.
Concerned about my career,
A bit professional i was.

Brought about the 'T.V Revolution'
A leader i was.
Received a warm farwewell,
"MISS INTELLECTUAL" now i was.

Music began to play when a graduate i was,
Emotion took me away from what actually i was,
Happy though i was,
Little did i know,it will not long last.

Lost the battle of my dream,
A LOSER i was,
Happiness and glory abandoned me,
so shattered i was.

Who i was,
Leads to who i am,
Neither a 'lucky go happy type'
nor so emotional now i am.

Still looking for words ,
to describe who i am,
Searching for identity ,
A DREAMER now i am.

The fight gets tougher,
The struggle still continues,
I will get through ,
An OPTIMIST as i am!!

And the journey begins...

It was not until our new sci & tech teacher told us about 'The Blog' that the idea dawned on me of creating my own blog.But that time i was so engrossed in my recent favourite teacher's lecture and his captivating eyes(more of it will be dealt later),that the idea simply slipped off my mind by the end of the class.
Few days back i was talking to a very good friend of mine(whom i talk to on my frequent break- ups for lifting up my mood).She perhaps is among the very few who know me pretty well,so she suggested me to create my own blog.But that time i rejected the idea due to paucity of time.But the idea which she presented to me was still dominant in my unconcious without me being aware of it.It was today morning that the censors failed to work efficiently and the idea managed to cross the boundary of the unconscious ,reached the subconscious and then the conscious.And now here i m respecting the determination of the idea,writing a prelude to whats more to come.Thanks to Vanadana for the idea.